In the councils of parenthood, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the baby-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist … We should take nothing for granted.*
They approach us as we stand, staring at strollers that cost as much as car down payments, and they invite us to sit in plush glider rockers with matching footstools to contemplate which of the $250 bedding sets we might purchase for that Hummer-sized crib. But we cannot decide. We are simply knocked up and reeling and wondering how the hell something the size of a watermelon merits an entire warehouse dedicated to its needs. They say it needs a convertible vibrating swing. They say it needs a baby-wipe warmer. A miniature spa bathtub with whirlpool jets. Organic cotton burp rags. Ergonomic nipples.
Or rather, we need these things to be good parents—to be seen as good parents. And as we click the scanner gun again and again and shift uneasily (because no, we do not know the baby’s gender and no, we don’t really care what it is), we realize that our answers are inadequate. We must register for either pink or blue baby socks because no one should want white.
White socks are not even on offer.
In this moment we see the inevitable, rising like a missile silo: the complex will win. We will register for the wipe-warmer. The spa bathtub.
We will be good parents.
And when they invite us to, we will take everything for granted.
*These lines, slightly altered, are borrowed from a speech made in 1961 by President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Eisenhower used the phrase military-industrial complex to describe the triangle of power created by legislators, the armed forces, and the industrial sector supporting the armed forces.
[...] bad enough that, as an Expectant Mother, I am forced to do battle with the Baby Industrial Complex. Bad enough that I must register for things like changing pads and swaddling blankets and miniature [...]